i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
