we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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