rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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