I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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