get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
