Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
