I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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