the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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