Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
