at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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