'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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