doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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