Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
