I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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