Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
