You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm having to shit out rocks
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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