Apparently you make a good broom.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
