You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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