the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
