Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
