Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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