mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
