i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize