mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
