just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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