Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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