i barfeds in our rink
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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