I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
