PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize