I wish I only lived at night.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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