I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
