I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
