Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
