OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
