Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize