Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
