I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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