Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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