Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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