I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
