god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
