Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
