okay pat passed out under dana's car
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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