This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
