4 words: hood of his car
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
