You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
