in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
