What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
