Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
