Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize