You work out of a Hotel?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
