You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
