My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
