So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
